% cat "food in cans"
cat: can't open food in cans

% nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.

% "How would you rate The President's incompetence?
Unmatched ".

% [Where is my dog?
Missing ].

% \316 How did the sex change operation go? \316
Modifier failed.

% got a light?
No match.

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% !:say, what is saccharine?
Bad substitute.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

% make 'heads or tails of all this'
Make: Don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop.

% make sense
Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop.

% make bottle.open
Make: Don't know how to make bottle.open. Stop.

% ls God
God not found

% date me
You are not superuser: date not set
Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988

% %Vice-President
%Vice-President: No such job.

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].

% who is my match?
No match.

% set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i
Democratic_Platform unreadable

% awk "Polly, the ship is sinking"
awk: syntax error near line 1
awk: bailing out near line

$ drink bottle: cannot open
opener: not found

$ "Amelia Earhart"
Amelia Earhart: not found

$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!

$ man -kisses dog
dog: nothing appropriate

$ i=Hoffa ;>$i ;$i ;rm $i ;rm $i
Hoffa: cannot execute
rm: Hoffa nonexistent

% mkdir "The phone book"
% more "The phone book"
The phone book is a directory

% make believe
make: don't know how to make believe. Stop

% wall "anything. Walls don't have eyes."
% wall: can't read anything. Walls don't have eyes.